Pause: small moments of stress

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As much as I have been enjoying this month of focusing on small moments for Down syndrome awareness, part of me wishes that Down syndrome Awareness Month was in February when I am less bogged down with projects and tasks.

Three months of summer is a long time to be home with four kids all day, so I don’t find many chunks of time to get things done. That means when school starts in September, I usually have a list of accumulated projects. Many of the projects I am catching up on now, I actually started three years ago before I became pregnant with Mr. S.

And living in an old house means that when I start one project, it usually expands into many more. Once I delve into it, most often I find bigger problems below the surface.

The latest project was fixing the grade next to the foundation where our basement leaks in big rains. As I dug down next to the foundation, I uncovered gaping holes in the 130 year old limestone, complete with roots growing into them. I could see the foam insulation that I had sprayed from inside the basement (the walls are 2ft thick). That meant I had to quickly learn how to mix the appropriate proportions of historic mortar and fill the holes (I enjoy this work very much, but the time for it is hard to find.)

foundation

It’s also apple picking time, and we have two trees brimming with apples that need to be picked and stored before the first frost (which is quickly approaching). My mom and I worked for a few hours harvesting half of one tree today, and I am looking forward to all of the things I will be able to make with them when life settles down a bit.

With all the time I spend outside, the inside of the house suffers the most. I have learned that when most people say their house is “messy,” it come nowhere near the extent of the junk strewn around my house, most of it mixed with either dog hair or graham cracker crumbs. I’m usually too tired to deal with any of that.

In my exhaustion, I often resort to the iPad to keep Kyle satisfied. As content as he is with playing, it is easy for me to feel I am not doing enough. Not making scratch dinners, not working on his writing, not encouraging his vocabulary, not potty training… the list goes on.

Tomorrow, I resolve that I will stop digging and start filling. I will install the window well. I will make dinner. I will wake Kyle up and put him to bed with a million kisses.

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
L.M. Montgomery

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About Katie

Katie Bee is the author of for Elysium blog: a site about family, Down syndrome, home, art, and writing.

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